Wonderful
by SebbyCiel5927
Summary: A song!fic made for Lady Gaga's song "wondeful". Ciel struggles with his feelings towards Sebastian.


**A/N: Edit: Ok, I fully removed the lyrics because people were nagging about copyrights. Fine, fine, here I'm following the rules, okay? Just listen to lady gaga's "wonderful", I really like this song, and it also isn't that techno-filled. **

**The story contains boyxboy, and kuroshitsuji doesn't belong to me. The song "wonderful" also doesn't belong to me, but to Lady Gaga. Enjoy!**

Ciel's POV

Could a demon understand a human that fell in love with him? After all, Sebastian knew everything, and particularly nothing can surprise him, right? Will he be able to accept me?

I never thought that I would do something as childish as making a hand-made present for someone. In fact I never did it for anyone, not even when I was a little child. Sebastian really means a lot to me if I'm doing it now, especially if I'm trying my best. I hope he will appreciate it, that he will understand how much I need him. This demon really drives me crazy. Much more than in one way.

It's all just so confusing! I mean, we're both males, he's my butler and in addition I am human and Sebastian is a demon. I didn't feel so confused since the day I summoned him. I just don't understand how he makes me ignore my pride, lose control and just give in to emotions. I mumble and blush like crazy and he makes me absolutely despise myself. But… it's hard to describe it, but it even feels somewhat good when I'm with him.

It's all just so crazy. But I never said I'm looking for a usual relationship. I don't know what his true form is. I guess it is like a black hole. Something like…nothing. A nothing that pulls you in more and more until there's no power left in you to resist and you're pulled into eternal bliss mixed with a never ending torture. But I know no matter what he'll be the most beautiful thing in the world for me. I can't think about anything but how perfect he is, in all aspects. No matter what I think about I keep returning to that damned perfect creature.

I tried to write a song about him. I admit, I failed miserably. In the end I settled on a poem about his eyes. It turned out to be quite good in my opinion, but it's not like I could ever allow myself show it to him. That's why I hid the poem away in one of my drawers just as he came in to give me my dessert, a cherry pie. The cherries in the pie were bleeding deep red just as his eyes do in the darkness. It took me a special effort to eat the slice under his unmoving gaze that hypnotized me and made me forget about everything. Only when he exited with the empty plate I woke up from the trance and realized I could make him get out all along.

I was so pathetic that night. I cried my eyes out, and everything because of one stupid demon who's not worth even a fringe of my soul. Or at least that's what I told myself. What hurt the most was that I couldn't cry as loudly as I wished to, because he would hear, and come to check on me and everything would end.

The final moment came. He seated me on a cold stone bench and with my last wish I commanded him to sit on the bench. I then climbed into his lap and kissed him. Yes, I kissed him because I had nothing to lose anyways. I felt like I can do it for eternity. His lips were so soft, and they kissed and bit me back as eagerly as I did.

I told him how much I loved him. He said that he knew ever since he found that poem I wrote about his eyes, and the sheets in the morning were wet from tears. He whispered how wonderful I am, and how much he is hungry for me.

Then he did…other things to me. Our moans heated the cold night air like a fire in an abandoned fireplace. It felt absolutely amazing.

I never was in such a situation. And I knew it was the best damn thing that has ever happened to me. Pure eternal euphoria, everything I've ever dreamed of and wished for in the depths on my black heart. For a moment I really believed we could live forever or something wonderful or cliché like this.

The time seemed to disappear for us. I hoped we can start a new life with him. Escape, leave, run away to a new place. I thought about how wonderful it would be. Just an eternity with him, I didn't need anything but this.

But in the end I even hadn't the chance to finish thinking what was on my mind. I never managed to end my thoughts because all of the sudden I was dead. He didn't lie when he told me he was hungry for me. Just as he promised, he never lies, not even in the last moment. He didn't love me after all, and he just used me in the most gruesome way. I was such a fool to think that there's at least one tiny damned wonderful thing in the world.


End file.
